10 things i think i've learned

  1. The first rule of having a well-behaved baby is that you don’t talk about having a well-behaved baby. She will hear you and decide that well-behaved is not all it’s cracked up to be.
  2. Babies will spit up on you just after you put on clothes to go out in, regardless of how long ago they last ate. You can either change or wipe off the spit up and carry on with your day. It’s amazing how quickly you adjust to doing the latter.
  3. As much as you value your sleep, a full night of it can be optional for months (or years?) on end. You will survive. Flourish? No, that’s crazy talk. But survive? Yes. Survival is possible.
  4. Mirrors are one of the most intriguing inventions ever. Now, how do we get to the people who live on the other side?
  5. Babies know when a camera is pointed on them and that cute behavior or adorable face they were just making? They will stop. But don't worry. They will start it again as soon as the camera is put down.
  6. When you come up with a perfect schedule for a morning, and evening, an entire day, whatever the case may be - it will not work out like you planned it. Babies are about the closest thing to omnipotent and physic that I have ever seen in human form. And they are manipulative as well.
  7. An object's properties of harmful and incredibly interesting are directly proportional. Also, the best way to investigate interesting (and potentially harmful) objects is to insert them into ones own mouth as fast as possible.
  8. Mothers can never buy too many shoes for their daughters, even if those daughters have more shoes than their fathers and aren't even walking yet.
  9. Even people who weigh less than 20 pounds can feel like a sack of bricks after a little while of wanting to be held. The white hot burning pain of debilitating shoulder cramps is not an acceptable reason to set down said people.
  10. Any behavior described in this list (i.e. typical, anticipate, planned for, expected, or anything else that might be "routine") is subject to change without notice.