My Brain Feels Numb On A Day Like This

How to get very little sleep in six easy steps: 1) Go to bed at a reasonable time.

2) Begin to feel sleepy quite quickly.

3) Almost slip blissfully into slumber before remembering that the cream cheese container is still on the counter in the kitchen.

4) Have you body release a large amount of adrenaline into your system, because, seriously, the cream cheese is ON THE COUNTER!! For the love of all that is holy, do something!

5) Walk downstairs. Put cream cheese in refrigerator.

6) Have body stay in fight-or-flight mode for about four hours. You never know when that cream cheese might make a break for it. Sneaky, the cream cheese can be.

Needless to say, I’m a little tired today. Tonight, the cream cheese is going on lockdown.