Sometimes, I Think I Just Love Too Much

Last week Wednesday, Rhiannon and I repotted plants outside on the back deck in shorts and t-shirts. This week Wednesday, her school was delayed and it took me about twice as long as normal to get to work. The expected afternoon high for today is 15 degrees. What does all this cold weather bring, outside of snow, bad driving conditions, and a feeling of utter despair? (The despair is only in reference to depression being more severe during winter due to less sunlight, which I may or may not believe, since I’ve always been a big fan of overcast days.)

A good reason to cuddle in bed.

We took the plunge when we moved into our house and got ourselves a big California king bed. Three people could sleep in it without much of a problem. Six children, if they used both ends. Before we got this bed, we were both used to sleeping near the edge of our respective sides. After the new bed, Rhiannon commented once that she almost felt lonely, since, from one edge, we could reach an arm out and not touch the other person.

Well, I’ve taken this complaint to heart and am doing my best to make her feel less alone at night. With it being cold outside at night and a little chilly in the bedroom, it is common for one of us to be a little frigid when going to sleep. So, we’ve started sleeping closer together for a little body warmth from the other person.

More accurately, I’ve started sleeping closer to Rhiannon. She still sleeps close to the edge. I sleep right next to her and can no longer reach my own “edge” without some pretty acrobatic stretching. I like to think of myself as being considerate and helping to keep her warm throughout the night. She likes to think of me as a big nuisance who is slowly attempting to drive her out of the bed.

I’ll give you an example of how nice I am so you can take my side if it ever comes up in conversation.

Last night, we were sleeping next to each other. Rhiannon got to up to use the bathroom sometime in the dark hours of the a.m. I, being the kind and caring husband I naturally am, moved my pillow that I hold to the area that she sleeps in. I’d like to point out that this would help keep the heat in the mattress and make a warmer bed when she came back. See – caring. Now, apparently when Rhiannon came back, I didn’t immediately move the pillow and myself out of her spot that I was keeping warm. The kicker? I was asleep. I am so caring that I kept her spot in bed warm, even in my sleep. And she claims it was a pain because she had to force her way back into bed.

I would submit that if the bed weren’t so appealing and warm (because of my valiant efforts), she wouldn’t even care if she could have that spot back. There is a whole other side of the bed sitting unused, but it is cold and barren of human life. Later in the night, she attempted to sabotage my attempts and protecting her be brutally jabbing my in the ribs, forcing me into the aforementioned barren land because I was “too close and making her hot.”

I think the case is clear. I merely love too much for her to handle. She must lash out against me, because to accept the selflessness and sacrifice I display each and every night would be to admit how close to perfect I really am.

Until she does, I will continue with my unflagging efforts to shelter and protect and her. (And someday, she will give up and I will get the side of the bed away from the window where it isn’t so light when it snows. Seriously, how is a person supposed to sleep in daylight conditions? And why do I get the light side all the time? But remember, that’s our little secret – if anyone asks, I’m still generous and compassionate.)