Other People's Small People

Late breaking news: The Toddler-Who-Doesn’t-Trust-Me doesn’t really fit her description anymore. We had a little family gathering last Saturday night: seven adults, two small dogs, and one two-year-old running on five hours of sleep and no nap. At least there was wine.

Really, it’s become more a Toddler-Who-Refuses-To-Acknowledge-My-Existence-But-Don’t-For-One-Minute-Think-She-Doesn’t-Know-Where-I-Am-And-Please-Stay-A-Little-Farther-Away-Thank-You. I think we can all agree that TWRTAMEBDFOMTSDKWIAAPSALFATY is a little long and cumbersome to write more than once. She will henceforth be known as Birth Control in Human Form.

Rhiannon and I had a dream a little while ago about us having kids. The topic comes up when we start talking about our plans five years from now. Show us a two year old on five hours of sleep. Who really needs kids? A person would think someone that small and fussy would eventually wear herself out. A person would be wrong.

Rhiannon and I went home and went to bed, probably before BCHF did. We didn’t have to get up to check on anyone. We slept for almost nine hours before having a leisurely morning breakfast of French toast. No small people to care for.

We’re in a good situation right now – we both like kids – other people’s kids. Rhiannon works with children every school day. She knows what they can turn out like. We’ll be seeing our 15-month-old niece over Christmas. Who needs babies when you can play with someone else’s children? It turns out that if the kid isn’t yours, when it cries, you can just give it back. And right now, that is good enough for us.