Monday's Unwanted Household Advice #1

Q: What’s your opinion on those memory foam mattresses I see advertised on late night TV and Saturday morning infomercials? Are they even comfortable? A: Rhiannon and I tried out several different mattresses and we went with the memory foam kind. So far, we both like it – I’ve even managed to sleep on my back. I don’t think I’ve done this since I was around 3 years of age.

Really, you should go to a store that carries them and try them out for yourself. Preferably on a Tuesday night 20 minutes before the store closes and when you are the only people in the store so the salesman sits on another bed while you lay down and answers every question you can think of. Then if you like it, reward the salesman by actually buying the bed (assuming of course this is really the second or third time you’ve tried them out, you still like them, and it is the best deal you can get.)

However, keep in mind that the mattresses do not have springs in them. Unlike air or water, the foam does not give right away under body weight.

When you decide to flop onto the bed, the dull thud followed by a whooshing sound is not the mattress or the bed breaking. It is the sound of your body landing and the air in your lungs escaping.

Feel free to inhale in again when the time is right.

Feel free to visit us if you want to try for yourself. It’s hilarious for the person standing in the room.

Not so much for the person lying on the bed unable to breath.