What TLC Doesn’t Show You (HGTV – You’re Included In This Too)

Rhiannon and I have always liked watching some of the home decorating shows on TLC and HGTV – we like to see what people on huge budgets do when they tear out half a house and remodel and what people on small budgets do with what they have laying around the house. Really, we like to see what designers come up with and tell each other that it looks stupid and we could obviously do way better and someone should give us money to design a room for them. Recently, we have been analyzing and watching some of these programs a little more closely than in the past – like the show about common lawn ailments, remedies, and how to use organic products to maintain a healthy lawn and protect the environment. And after it was over, we both realized that for not technically having a lawn, we both took the show way too seriously.

Amongst the home-decorating reality-TV segment, there are plenty of shows that cover a room or two being redone in 48 to 72 hours. They always come down to the last minute and sometimes we don’t think they look very good, but it seems like things flow pretty smoothly. Within the first 10 minutes of actual work on the show, they usually have paint going up and wall covered before the second commercial break.

In real life, it takes longer than 10 minutes. They don’t show how long it takes to tape off baseboards around a room, or wipe down walls to remove dust. They also don’t show how much of a pain ceiling fans can be – I don’t have a screwdriver small enough to remove it and I don’t really feel like rewiring the fixture when I have to put it back up – we’re just going to put a trash bag over the whole thing and paint around it.

We thought we would have a coat of primer up last night. We didn’t even open a can. We are also priming white over black ceilings. (If you’re anything like anyone we’ve talked to, you just gasped at the thought of black ceilings. The sellers mowed the grass the morning that we closed on the house – I have forgiven the black ceilings.)

Today, we start priming. If TV tells the truth, it should take about 4 minutes, at the most.