Now This Won’t Hurt A Bit, Unless It Does…

I went back to the dentist today – this was because they couldn’t do a thorough enough cleaning the last time I was there in the time allotted. I got the full treatment today. I’ve never had a lot of problems with my teeth or much pain associated with them. The worst experience I ever had was the one time I had cavities in my baby teeth and didn’t get to have my picture taken to go on the wall of fame - I know, tragic. So, I really have had no reason to fear the dentist or be mistrustful of their practices. And as I sit down today, the first thing my hygienist says to me is, “Did we discuss the full mouth anesthetic last time you were in?”

And I just looked at her blankly.

“Oh, it’s really nothing to worry about; sometimes people are just a little sensitive and they prefer to be numbed for the cleaning.”

The last I check, that’s all I went for – a cleaning. A thorough one. With a gum rinse, whatever that is. No tooth pulling involving me strapped in a chair, a string coming out of my mouth and the entire office staff on the other end with the dentist yelling “Ok, on three, everyone pull!” No heavy metals being put into the roof of my mouth that would give me the power to move things with my mind while causing premature demise. Just a simple scrub-scrub, scrape-scrape cleaning.

And then she asked if I felt any pain when she probed the pockets of infectious material surround my teeth and gums. No, I hadn’t. Good, and if they did the total mouth numbing, they could only do half my mouth today and I would have to come back again, and I said I would try without.

I don’t mind dentists.

I’m not crazy. (Rhiannon may beg to differ.)

And the procedure went fine. I had virtually no pain and I was feeling good about everything and she pulls out a syringe with what looks like a 3 inch needle on the end of it and says, “Don’t worry, this isn’t a shot. I’m just going to shoot this in under your gums.” Um, the last time I checked, shooting generally refers to being shot, as in, it was a shot.

And I started to protest but then found out it’s really hard to talk when someone is about three knuckles deep into your mouth along with a syringe, vacuum tube and a small mirror. And she was right, it wasn’t a shot – more like a very accurate placement of a liquid that will make you think it’s minty until it slowly melts your tongue. And as my tongue slowly dissolved, she says, “Oh yeah, not swallowing this stuff would probably be best.”

I go back in 4 months to check my progress – kind of like rehabbing of the mouth. Now if I could just get some of that stuff to dissolve my wisdom teeth in the meantime, life would be good.