Why I May Be Dumb In The Near Future

I went to the dentist today. As far as I can remember, I haven’t been to a dentist for five years. I guess you could say I was due. It really wasn’t so much my decision as Rhiannon telling me she made an appointment for me and we get charged for no shows so I better show up.

So I went. As a new patient I got the full work-up of x-rays and I was scheduled for a routine cleaning. Apparently that whole routine cleaning thing – not really gonna cut it. I have large pockets around some of my rear teeth and this is bad.

Bad: These pockets can hold bacteria that can attack bone. Good: These pockets can also contain my spare set of keys – I was looking everywhere for those.

Bad: This attacking of the bone leads to periodontal disease and can eventually lead to tooth loss. Not quite as bad: I have to go back next week for a thorough cleaning they didn’t have time for today. Badder: The dentist also told me to get my wisdom teeth out.

I like my wisdom teeth – aside from the fact that they came in sideways and serve no useful benefit to chewing and will only trap food and make me prone to more often and severe gum infection, they don’t hurt anything at all. Maybe I can get them in a jar a sleep with them at night so my infinite wisdom and knowledge doesn’t leave me.

The one good thing: Due to my good genetics and drinking well water as I grew up, the dentist says my teeth are like stone. Tiny boulders. In my mouth. I have the mouth of The Thing.

Speaking of genetics – I also inherited my father’s aversion to a dentist’s office. Or going to any doctor for that matter. Now if I can just figure out how to avoid inheriting baldness, I’ll be alright.