Right Now, He’s Wishing There Was A Little Less Magic In That Old Straw Hat

Apparently I feel that if I take a vacation for a few days, when I come back I don’t have to talk to the internet anymore. (Also, microsoft word suggests capitalizing the word “internet”, just like it is a real person. (Also, “microsoft” word has the auto-capitalize feature for “microsoft”, like it is a real person, which it is not. I decapitalize you. Take that microsoft!) ) (Finally also, decapitalize is not a word, but I can use it when talking to the Internet, because I’m sure the Internet will be fine with it, unlike microsoft.) And getting back to a sentence without parentheses around it, I am once again talking the Internet. We are BFF.

I had the pleasure of spending my vacation over Christmas (notice how when working full-time, it becomes vacation and not Christmas break from college) with Rhiannon’s family in North Dakota. I was absorbed into this family long before Rhiannon and I were married and so I know the routines and traditions pretty well.

Rhiannon’s brother Dalon and his wife Lynn were also present, along with their baby, Grace. If I’m an in-law to Rhiannon’s family, and Lynn is also an in-law to the same family, is Lynn my sister-in-law-in-law? Sister-in-law squared? The first year we were both at Grandma’s for Christmas eve, we ended up eating at a card table separated from everyone else and dubbed ourselves the outlaws. At the time, it was more of the fact we didn’t know people very well, but it has continued to the point where the munchkins (read: Rhiannon’s younger siblings, regardless of how big they are getting) think it’s cool to sit at the outlaw table.

At the yearly bingo game, Lynn and I shared the table with Mike. The conversation landed on what time and by what methods everyone should get up for Christmas morning to open gifts. Lynn and I, being the true outlaws that we are, have collaborated with the munchkins in rising early, much to the dismay of our respective spouses.

Lynn: “Chris, if you get up at 6:00, you should wake everyone up by banging out Jingle Bells on the piano.”

Mike: “Whatever. If I’m up, I’m going to be banging Frosty the Snowman!”

Mike, if I could give you some advice – finish your thoughts all the way.

Or watch out for frostbite.