Red Wine – Generically Produced By Monks Walking On Grapes Since Long Ago (Approximately)

At my company Christmas party (well, Holiday party to be politically correct), we had a nice dinner and the servers came around with wine to go with the food. Server: “White or red?” Me: “What kind of wine is the red?” Server: [Looks at me trying to determine if I’m making fun of him or just an idiot.] “It’s red wine.” Me: “What type of red wine.” Server: “Listen, I was told this is red wine. That’s what it is – red wine. If you would like to drink the red wine just say so. If you would like to wear the red wine and have the bottle smashed over your head, I would be more than happy to oblige your request.” Me: “Is the red wine good?” Server: [Glares with that maniacal twitch in the one eyelid which can only mean he has an eyelash that’s bothering him or I am about to be beaten within inches of my life.] Me: “I’ll take the red wine.” Server: “Excellent choice, sir.”