It’s what’s on the inside that counts

So those sappy recipes for love? The ones that say Ingredients: ½ cup affection 1 pinch cuddles 3 Tb sweetness

and so on, they don’t actually make anything. Well, if you follow those all the way through, you might end up with children, but that’s a subject for a different time.

It turns out that if you fail to follow a real recipe with actual ingredients and directions, you also get nothing. Well, not so much nothing as just badly prepared food. I think you can all see where this is going.

Chris vs. Pecan Pie, 2005

I got the ingredients right, got them mixed, and put in a piecrust. Everything looked fine, tasted fine (a good chef always samples along the way) and was set to be the best first pecan pie anyone had ever made. I had the oven set and put the pie in, one last glance and the directions – oops, the oven is supposed to be at 450, not at 350 – good thing I caught that one.

45 minutes later, open the oven to see… a black pie. That doesn’t look right at all. Check the oven, yep, 450 degrees. Check the recipe, 45 minutes at 350 degrees. Shit. Tip: read the whole line – 45 MINUTES, not 450 DEGREES. It makes a difference.

After some muttering and tossing of potholders and waiting for Rhiannon’s to catch her breath and dry her tears (thanks for not laughing honey!), I decided to make another pie. We had ingredients for two of them picked up as we are also making this over Thanksgiving to take to the Hesterberg’s with us. Try two: followed ALL directions this time – and the pie took almost an hour and 20 minutes. It looks good though.

And the burned pie? Just the top was burned. You know, the part with the pecans. The part that makes a pecan pie. The center was great though, so we peeled off the pecans and ate the rest anyway. That was the best middle of a pecan pie I’ve ever had. So my pie making was not complete failure – the center is the best part anyway. Yeah, it is… I’ll just keep telling myself that.

And over Thanksgiving? I think Rhiannon should just make the pie. I’ll eat it. That’s enough for me.